Comments on: To shower or not to shower – that is the question

By: Paul

Paul — Thu, 08 Jan 2009 14:31:00 +0000

Bridal shower – I don’t care, I’m more concerned with the bachelorette party

By: Monkey Mama

Monkey Mama — Wed, 07 Jan 2009 17:54:18 +0000

Yeah, Bridal Showers annoy me. That’s just my gut reaction. I didn’t have one; wasn’t interested in the least. Just something I never *got.*

My SIL on the other hand went all out. Her wedding was like a year-long affair of parties and gifts. Engagement party, bridal shower, bachelorette party, on and on and on. I don’t think we could have been more extreme from each other – hehe. But yeah, I don’t remember having much fun. I just remember spending a LOT of money for her wedding.

By: Michelle

Michelle — Wed, 07 Jan 2009 16:04:30 +0000

scfr – No the rules of etiquette haven’t changed – it’s up to someone to offer to host a shower and basically, my mom, my maid of honor and my aunt are going to be holding the shower. I am being a bit of a Bridezilla though because I’m afraid that it’s going to be a last minute thing and I need enough time to get a weekend off of my part-time job.

Fern – Thanks for the comment.

By: scfr

scfr — Wed, 07 Jan 2009 15:23:51 +0000

Well, the first thing that pops in to my head is that (unless the rules of etiquette have changed) the bride-to-be does not get to decide to have a bridal shower. Someone has to offer to host one for her, and the hostess gets to decide what to do at the shower. Maybe things have changed, but if they have changed so much that the bride-to-be gets to dictate how someone else offers the hospitality of their home, then no wonder the term “Bridezilla” came to be.

Having said that, I think your idea of what a bridal shower IS (soaking in the fellowship of friends and family) is spot-on.

At my shower (when I was 28 … so, ages ago), people brought modest gifts. The best gift was that my aunt asked everyone to write their marriage advice to me on a piece of paper, and she put those pieces of paper together in to a little album for me. That shower really was more about a group of women getting together to offer me their support, rather than a gift orgy. It was a really uplifting experience that I treasure to this day.

Your idea of bringing recipes is a good one, and if someone offers to host a shower for you and asks for your input, then suggesting that would be great.

As far as wedding gifts some couples request that in lieu of gifts people donate to their favorite charity, which I think is fantastic.

By: Fern

Fern — Wed, 07 Jan 2009 14:47:42 +0000

I absolutely LOVE IT that you are thinking this through instead of just doing the knee-jerk reaction and having the bridal shower. Bridal showers and baby showers, and the abhorrent registries, of which i’ve attended many, just seem to me to be yet another symtptom of our consumer-driven, materialistic society and our fervor to accumulate “stuff.” Asking everyone to bring no gifts except a favorite recipe, or something like that, i think is a wonderful idea. It’s people, friends and family, after all, that are most important and by doing this you’d be setting a wonderful example.