Comments on: Lending money to strangers – what would you do?

By: Paula

Paula — Tue, 28 Apr 2009 13:56:37 +0000

My husband and I have a large family: 7 kids, 5 kids-in-law, 9 (almost 10) grandchildren, several siblings, nieces and nephews. When we find ourselves in situations such as yours, we try to ask ourselves, “What would I want someone else to do if it were my family member in need?” We GIVE whatever we can to help the need presented and consider it a privilege to do so. We only give an amount that we can afford to GIVE AWAY, so we do not expect re-payment.

By: disneysteve

disneysteve — Wed, 22 Apr 2009 01:11:09 +0000

Tough call. She isn’t completely a stranger – she’s a new neighbor. Presumably, this is someone who you may be running into regularly from now on. Also, I think the fact that she is somewhat new to the country is important to note as culture and customs are much different in other places and in lots of places, helping out others is much more ingrained than it is here in the US.

I’d be a bit concerned if someone moved onto my block and didn’t have enough money to fill their tank. What kind of neighbor will they be if their finances are that delicate?

I’m not sure what I would have done. I can’t see myself pulling out cash and handing it over, but at the same time, what better way to befriend a new neighbor than helping out in a crisis (assuming one actually existed).

I would love to know how this turns out. Does she repay the money or do something else (cookies) to show her gratitude? Let us know, please.

By: FH (technically H)

FH (technically H) — Tue, 21 Apr 2009 20:22:58 +0000

The woman seemed surprised and a little confused at first by the gas card. I wasn’t actually sure how long she’d been in the US to begin with, which may explain the lack of a credit or debit card.

Ultimately, I’m not that concerned about the $15. But what will keep nagging at me is whether or not we were scammed because of our kindness. If not, we did a good deed and I’m glad for it. I hope someone would do the same for me. And if we were… well, that’s disappointing to me for several reasons. Unfortunately, there’s really no way for us to know unless she comes back to repay us with $15 or a plate of cookies.

By: justme

justme — Tue, 21 Apr 2009 19:37:55 +0000

no way nobody who is decent would knock on a neighbors door asking for money. a half way decent person would ask for work cleaning or something not a hand out

they will be back and eventualy they will hate you when you have had enough and say no

By: dmontngrey

dmontngrey — Tue, 21 Apr 2009 17:19:54 +0000

I was going to ask the same thing as Jaime – how DID she react? You left out a very important part to this story. Extreme gratitude or indifference? Either way, you did the right thing. Good Karma, pay it forward, no regrets here.

By: Jaime

Jaime — Tue, 21 Apr 2009 17:01:58 +0000

How did she act when you pulled out the gas card rather than cash? I think that’s your answer.
Congrats, btw!

By: Paul

Paul — Tue, 21 Apr 2009 15:19:22 +0000

I was setting up for a band gig one day and some guy walked up and said his wife had a baby today and he didn’t have enough gas to get home and back to a nearby town to get some things and his other son, and that he’d come back and pay is after he went home and got money. I handed him $20, and said if you come back great, if you don’t, then it’s on your conscience to pay it forward. He never came back. Whether his story was true or not…he must have needed the money more than I did.

I do believe in karma, and treating people as I would hope to be treated if I was in need. I think you have to set the bar accordingly though – if you’re going to give someone money, give it to them, and don’t expect it in return. You’ll live a lot happier.

By: lizajane

lizajane — Tue, 21 Apr 2009 03:35:52 +0000

I’m naturally suspicious of things like this, and I really can’t imagine asking a total stranger (new neighbor or not) for gas money. Hopefully it was legitimate. If not, you won’t miss what you weren’t using. If more people start showing up at your door, or the same neighbor reappears to beg or borrow something else, I would put an end to it REAL fast!

By: Tic Toc

Tic Toc — Tue, 21 Apr 2009 03:34:18 +0000

The whole “being asked for money” would make me very uneasy. Why doesn’t she have a credit card.
I rarely have cash on me as I prefer to use my debit card. I would use the “Sorry, I don’t have any money either” excuse.