“Dude, can I bug you for a second?”
Considering that I was spending more time reading about Obama’s picks for various members of his Cabinet on CNN than actually working, I “minimized” my Internet browser and looked up expectantly at my co-worker.
“I think I’m pregnant.”
I pause momentarily. “Seen “Juno” yet?”
“I love that movie.”
“Well, then that’s one doodle that can’t be undid, homeskillet,” I said, masking my shock and potential worry for my much younger and unmarried co-worker by quoting what has to be one of the best teen pregnancy movies that has ever chronicled such a malady.
OK – now that I’ve wow-ed you guys by quoting the one movie I actually attended in the theater during the year 2007, I’ll get down to the nitty gritty. This co-worker of mine hasn’t been feeling too hot lately. If she gets hungry and if she doesn’t eat immediately, she feels like she’s about to throw up. She also feels lightheaded at times. And supposedly birth control pills, the patch, etc., either depress the hell out of her or, as she puts it, “I could kill someone and not even care.”
Consulting the minimal knowledge that has been bestowed upon me by my mama friends and stuff that I’ve read over the years, I think it’s probably too soon for co-worker to be having any kind of symptoms like morning sickness. Then again, I’ve never had kids. I have no clue. But I chalked up her nausea to blood sugar (because I’m so qualified to give that diagnosis.).
I provide my diagnosis and then ask the really probing question:
“What are you going to do?”
“Oh, I’m excited. I would be thrilled if I was pregnant, I just want to know if I am or not.”
Wow … (and yes, now I’m getting to my point here …) I’m 30 years old, I’m getting married in five months and if all goes well, we will start spawning little kids all over the universe within 9 months after we say our “I dos.” (OK – one, maybe two, if we can afford it, according to Future Hubby.) But if I found out that I was pregnant tomorrow, I think I would still freak out just a little bit. Because I’m not married. And because if I’m afraid my dress won’t fit now, it soooo won’t fit with five months of pregnancy strapped in under my bodice. And because I just haven’t given it the financial thought that I would need to bring a kid into mine and my honey’s chaotic world. (I provide the chaos – he’s the tether that makes sure I don’t fall.)
I give my honey a lot of crap at times about our future brood because I’ll toss out names for boys or girls and expect an immediate opinion. He’ll maddeningly answer “I haven’t thought that far ahead yet.” But we think about it. We’ve talked about it. There’s a part of us that will be ready to throw out my pill pack on April 19, 2009, and see if we will become parents. But then there’s another part of us that needs to put new shingles on the roof of our house and we’d like to get that done before we welcome a kid into this world. Road trips to see friends and family are usually filled with a debate on how much money we should have in savings before we start trying to procreate. (It’s not much of a debate – neither of us have a clue. Our parental friends seem deliberatively vague and tell us that no matter how much money we have in savings, it never seems to be enough and we shouldn’t put off having children for monetary concerns or else we’ll be waiting forever.) But how much is enough? And should I start thinking about being a stay-at-home mom or should I see if there is a portion of my full-time job that I could do from home while cutting back on daycare costs?
As for my co-worker, it’s now “wait and see” mode, although I offered her my spare EPT stick hidden in my toiletries drawer. (She’s not the only person to live through a pregnancy scare …) And if her eggo is preggo, my first reaction will be to hug her and to go out and buy her that “What to Expect …” book, but then I might have some questions for her to think about over the next nine months.
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