Last Tuesday, I thought of a stunning post that I could write for you all. It was going to be the Great American snippet of blog posts and it would inspire understanding! OK – so it wasn’t that good, but it seemed like a good one when I started making little notes to myself about what I wanted to convey.
The ironic part? I wanted to write about time management – but then I ran out of time until this morning to finish what I had started. Then, like all good ideas that seem brilliant at the time, I forgot what the gist of what I was going to tell you.
This is what happens when a person doesn’t have enough time.
Not having time has other consequences for me as well – when I get pinched for time, I find myself getting lazy about frugality and I find myself making bad decisions. For instance … I spent about $120 on restaurants last month. And OK – $120 is probably a lot better than before I was trying to pay down my debt, but at the same time – $120 is about 1/5th of what I owe on my lowest balance credit card. Five months of brown bagging would more than take care of that particular card.
I also think of a comment that was made a few months ago when I first started writing this blog – if I battened down the hatches and stopped my mindless spending, I could still pay down my debt and have more time in my life to spend with my Future Husband and doing the other things that I like to do.
To be honest? I don’t know if I can do it. I’m very tired and I know that I’m getting a little burned out working two jobs and getting ready for the wedding. But I like the money. I like the $400 paychecks that I’ve been getting from the cab company – they helped me pay off the root canal, they helped me pay off my car insurance and when the IRS bites me in the arse when I do my taxes this month, that money’s going to dig me out once again.
But gosh I feel like I’m spinning my wheels. I feel like there is so much that I’m missing out on and I just want my debt paid off so I can go on enjoying life.
Here’s the quote that’s been running through my head lately. If you’ve never watched “Things to Do in Denver When You’re Dead,” it’s probably one of my all-time favorite movies. This quote is particularly poignant right now:
“Remember when you was a kid and you would spend the whole year waiting for summer vacation and when it finally came it would fly by just like that? It’s funny, Jimmy, life has a way of flying by faster than any old summer vacation …”
I just hope that when this time is all over – when my debt is paid off and I’m not working all the time – that I truly do enjoy myself and that I remember what it was like to be so darn busy and to really appreciate where I’ve been and how I got to where I am. Does that make sense or do I need to stop writing blog posts before my coffee kicks in?
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