Debt Reduction, Everyday Living, Random!, work

When the future is colored by your hormonal state of mind

I should probably preface this by saying “No, mom – I’m not pregnant – we’re not talking about THOSE hormones.”

Now that we’ve gotten that cleared up, here’s the gist of what I’m going to say today: I’m in a bad mood. I was in a bad mood yesterday and Tuesday was also rather crappy. Today hit a fever pitch of crappiness and somewhere in between wanting to cry at an email one of my sales guys sent to me and wanting to headbutt the next person who asked me about our perpetually broken printer – I was hit by a revelation. And if you’re a man, you might want to close your web browser now because I’m about to say those words that make my husband turn pale and my father to run screaming for the woods: I’m PMS-ing something fierce.

What does this have to do with my financial future? As long as I get through the next day without spontaneously quitting my job, it probably won’t have much of an impact, but yesterday I saw a posting for a part time job at a nearby daily newspaper and for the first time since I left newspapers, I was ready to run sobbing back into the arms of a newsroom (that is, of course, if they would have me.).

It’s been about three years since I left the newspaper industry. I was tired and burnt out. I was in love with the guy who became my husband and I rationalized that if I was married to my job as an editor and if the hubby (then raging crush from college) and I worked out, I’d end up divorced like a handful of my journalist friends. I never had a great social life when I was a journalist (aside from drinking with my journalist friends.) And at the time – I didn’t really care. Because there is something of a thrill that comes with journalism – you’re writing is read by a circulation of x-amount of people, people sometimes recognize you in bars or grocery stores and stop you to tell you story ideas or give you a piece of their minds. My life seemed very important as a journalist and it fed that raging ego that has been lying dormant inside of me since I left the business.

I felt this very weird flicker of hope kindle inside of me when I saw that job posting. It’s for the company that I used to work for (and left on good terms) and knowing my talent and ability, what would start as a part-time job could eventually turn into something full-time. It would be easy to let my current full-time bosses down gently – “I missed journalism too much and this opportunity came and I couldn’t turn it down.”

So here’s the question – do I really miss journalism or am I just really hormonal right now and am viewing a life change through estrogen-colored glasses?

The answer? I’m not sure. I do know that I’m not entirely happy with my job situation right now, but that I’ve been determined to stick it out until the hubby and I are more financially solid (i.e. – credit cards are paid off, husband transfers from the temp position he’s in to actual employment).

I’ll keep you posted and let you know if I start polishing my resume to reflect more of a journalism versus administrative assistant bent.

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4 thoughts on “When the future is colored by your hormonal state of mind

  1. You’re looking for something more fulfilling, somewhat along the lines of what you used to have when you were in journalism. I would stick it out where you are and bank your paycheck for a bit longer until the circumstances are right for you to make a move. You don’t sound particularly miserable, just unfulfilled. Unfortunately, you must put your marriage’s needs and the needs of your financial future, ahead of your personal fulfillment. What good will personal fulfillment do you if you end up back in substantial debt?

  2. My pleasure. Here’s a suggestion. Since you enjoy journalism, but not the stress of the field (leading to divorce), why not consider freelance journalism? You could write feature pieces for travel magazines (i.e. an article about your current hometown, museum, theater or concert reviews, etc…)

  3. Distance lends perspective. Give it a couple days before you make a decision. Also, what it means to be employed is undergoing a tremendous paradigm shift these days. We’re all going to be freelancers in the not-so-distant future, especially those of us in the communications field.

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