… Nirvana’s “Smells Like Teen Spirit” was played live for the first time 20 years ago. I feel old when I remember what an impact that album had on my junior high days. For once, the “cool kids” were behind while the rest of us nerds swapped homedubbed cassettes of “Nevermind.”
… Last night one of my best friends and I went to see Willie Nelson in concert. Even at 77, Willie Nelson is one of the most magnetic and compelling performers that I’ve ever watched. Going to concerts involve a bit of cash (more so, I’m sure than when Willie first started his musical career). Tickets were just under $40. Anne and I decided to make a “girls night” of it which involved dinner and drinks beforehand, a couple of beers during the concert and a couple of beers after that. So while last night’s concert was a little more than I would spend on a night out, I got to see the man who wrote Patsy Cline’s “Crazy” sing his own tune. I got to see grandmas with white hair walk up to the barrier in front of the stage and blow Willie a kiss, adorable kids who sported braids and bandanas in homage to Nelson, people of all ages and all backgrounds united in interest for one evening of amazing music.
… My home office is getting into shape and I am pleasantly surprised with the amount of work that I’ve been able to do on my own without my husband’s help so far. 🙂 Then again, while I’ve been removing window hardware and going through sheafs of papers and boxes of old photographs, my wonderful husband has been setting up the new laptop I’ve acquired for my job and setting up our new wireless router.
As you can tell, a lot of stuff has been going on lately. The most important and likely the worst thing to have happen in the past week (other than realizing that I’m really OLD thanks to the Nirvana piece of news) is that I said goodbye to my former job on Friday. I wasn’t teary about the farewells, as much as I was panicky. As I told my friend Anne last night, I’m waiting for the other shoe to drop and to be left high and dry in a jobless limbo. “HA! We were joking when we made you that offer,” sort of thing. (Don’t ask me where my paranoia comes from … it is a very weird piece of my psyche.) I left a perfectly fine job and a safe situation to once again cast myself into the great unknown. There are times when I wonder if I’m too damn old for this sort of thing. I am soaring pretty high right now – a managerial position! Getting to stay at home and work in my jammies! But between you and me, I worry that I’m going to fall flat on my ass. I worry what my first day is going to feel like, sitting in my converted spare bedroom knowing what my Monday would be like if I was at my old job.
Worry: “To torment oneself with or suffer from disturbing thoughts; fret.” I come from a long line of worries and professional fretters. To be honest, I don’t see myself breaking the mold at any point in the near future, so I worry, but I carry on regardless and try to open myself to the world and where it takes me. I need to remember that 95% of the time, I make good, educated choices. Sometimes I make stupid choices that take a little time to rectify (ahem, credit card debt!), but at the end of the day, I usually end up on my feet and not flat on my ass.
One final piece of “stuff” that’s been floating around my mind. At the end of my day on Friday, I had one final meeting with my boss Jeff who has a young son. Jeff and his son have watched the movie “Cars” about a zillion times and Jeff told me that he was feeling a bit like Doc Hudson to my Lightning McQueen.
“You’ve got a lot of stuff, kid,” Jeff told me as I left his office. And yes – I’d like to be snarky and think of all of the crap that I’ve been purging this past weekend, the books, the papers, the clothes, the ticket stubs, the CDs … all the “stuff” that one acquires in their life. But I know what Jeff meant … I have a lot of “stuff”: A good work ethic, good writing skills, a good network of friends and colleagues to rely on …
I may worry and fret about the future, but the “stuff” that I’ve acquired throughout my working history tells me that the future comes regardless. I am excited about the next adventure.
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